Blackbeard's Aliens Read online

  Grist licked his dry lips and checked the video monitor again. Lightning spiked nearby, revealing six soldiers in Battlenaut armor facing off on a rocky battlefield...but no sign of the dark figure from the hilltop.

  Grist stabbed the comm button and spoke into his mic. "Hey, Freak. Ever hear of the Black Battlenaut?"

  When he didn't get a reply, Grist looked at the button he'd just hit and realized it wasn't the comm at all. He was just about to punch the real comm button when the cockpit rocked from a powerful impact. It was enough to crack his helmeted skull against the headrest and snap him back to the reality from which he'd taken a brief vacation.

  Fight. That's right. His hands flew back to the steering and weapons controls. I'm in a firefight.

  I'm fighting a war here.

  *****

  Sharon "Freak" Freemare laughed like a maniac as she cut loose her Battlenaut's main guns against the oncoming enemy. One slug hit home in a big way, punching through the enemy's armor and leaving a jagged, smoking hole at the top of one leg.

  Still shrieking with laughter, Freak swung a laser around and opened up on the damage. Metal and plastic melted before the onslaught, and the enemy Battlenaut's leg gave way within seconds.

  The damaged Battlenaut went down hard, flat on its face. The enemy soldier in its cockpit tried in vain to force the smashed war machine to get up and fight, but it was still lying in the mud when Freak marched her own Battlenaut over to meet it.

  "Hey, traitor!" shouted Freak, though she knew the downed pilot couldn't hear her. "Special delivery from the Redeyes for ya!"

  Freak used her lasers to disable the enemy Battlenaut's weapons systems. The whole time, the smell of baking bread was so strong in the cockpit that it made her stomach growl.

  Why she smelled baking bread in the cockpit instead of the usual sweat and stink, she had no idea, but she didn't let it trouble her. Better just to soak it in like the smell of roses that had rushed over her moments earlier, or the incredible smooth feeling of silk that had rippled over her skin moments before that.

  Better just to enjoy the ride.

  Eyeballing the display on her visor, she located the other members of her squad. Lieutenants Grist and Pellucid formed two points of a triangle enclosing the battlefield, with Freak as the third point. Four enemy Battlenauts were trapped inside the triangle, three still standing plus the one she'd just brought down.

  Freak cackled as she swung her Battlenaut toward a fresh target. These bums are no match for the Redeyes.

  That was what Freak's squad called themselves: Redeyes, because they fought without rest. Computers monitored the alertness of this experimental squad and administered countermeasures, chemical and otherwise, to keep them awake and fighting. Such sleep deprivation techniques promised to limit downtime for deployed Commonwealth troops, giving them an edge in the ongoing civil war against the Rightfuls.

  From Freak's point of view, the experiment was the biggest success of all time. She and the others had been awake for days on end, so long she'd lost count, and still they suffered no ill effects.

  If anything, Freak felt better than ever. She'd never fought more fiercely or thought more clearly in her life.

  Who knew insomnia could be so much fun?

  *****

  What happens next? Find out in Beware the Black Battlenaut, now on sale for your favorite e-reading device!

  *****

  About the Author

  Robert T. Jeschonek is an award-winning writer whose fiction, comics, essays, articles, and podcasts have been published around the world. His young adult urban fantasy novel, My Favorite Band Does Not Exist, was named one of Booklist’s Top Ten First Novels for Youth. Simon & Schuster, DAW/Penguin Books, and DC Comics have published his work. He won the grand prize in Pocket Books' nationwide Strange New Worlds contest and was nominated for the British Fantasy Award. Visit him online at www.thefictioneer.com. You can also find him on Facebook and follow him as @TheFictioneer on Twitter.

  *****

  E-books by Robert T. Jeschonek

  Fantasy

  6 Fantasy Stories

  6 More Fantasy Stories

  Blazing Bodices

  Earthshaker – an urban fantasy novel

  Girl Meets Mind Reader

  Groupie Everlasting

  Rose Head

  The Genie's Secret

  The Return of Alice

  The Sword That Spoke

  Horror

  Bloodliner – a novel

  Diary of a Maggot

  Dionysus Dying

  Fear of Rain

  Road Rage

  Humor (Adults Only)

  Dick by Law – a novel

  Literary

  6 Short Stories

  Getting Higher – a novel

  Mystery and Crime

  6 Crime Stories

  Crimes in the Key of Murder

  Dancing With Murder (a cozy mystery novel)

  The First Detect-Eve

  The Foolproof Cure for Cancer

  The Other Waiter

  Who Unkilled Johnny Murder?

  Poetry

  Flight of Ideas

  Science Fiction

  6 Scifi Stories

  6 More Scifi Stories

  6 Scifi Stories Book 3

  Beware the Black Battlenaut

  Give The Hippo What He Wants

  Heaven Bent, Part 1 – a weekly serial

  Heaven Bent, Part 2 – a weekly serial

  Heaven Bent, Part 3 – a weekly serial

  Heaven Bent, Part 4 – a weekly serial

  Heaven Bent, Part 5 – a weekly serial

  Heaven Bent, Part 6 – a weekly serial

  Heaven Bent, Part 7 – a weekly serial

  Heaven Bent, Part 8 – a weekly serial

  Heaven Bent, Part 9 - a weekly serial

  Heaven Bent, Part 10 - a weekly serial

  Heaven Bent, Part 11 - a weekly serial

  Heaven Bent, Part 12 - a weekly serial

  Lenin of the Stars

  Messiah 2.0

  My Cannibal Lover

  Off The Face Of The Earth

  One Awake In All The World

  Playing Doctor

  Serial Killer vs. E-Merica

  Something Borrowed, Something Doomed

  Star Sex

  Teacher of the Century

  The Greatest Serial Killer in the Universe

  The Love Quest of Smidgen the Snack Cake

  The Shrooms of Benares

  Universal Language – a novel

  Superheroes

  7 Comic Book Scripts

  A Matter of Size (mature readers)

  Forced Retirement (Forced Heroics Book 1)

  Forced Betrayal (Forced Heroics Book 2)

  Forced Partnership (Forced Heroics Book 3)

  Heroes of Global Warming

  The Masked Family – a novel

  The Wife Who Never Was

  Thrillers

  Backtracker – a novel

  Day 9 – a novel

  The Trek It! Series

  Trek This!

  Trek Off!

  Trek Fail!

  Trek Script!

  Trek Script 2

  Trek Novel!

  Trek You!

  Trek It!

  Young Readers

  Dolphin Knight – a novel

  Lump

  Tommy Puke and the Boy with the Golden Barf

  Tommy Puke and the World's Grossest Grown-Up

  *****

  Now on Sale from Robert T. Jeschonek

  A Young Adult Fantasy Novel That Really Rocks!

  One of Booklist's Top Ten First Novels for Youth

  Being trapped in a book can be a nightmare—just ask Idea Deity. He’s convinced that he exists only in the pages of a novel written by a malevolent author . . . and that he will die in Chapter 64. Meanwhile, Reacher Mirage, lead singer of the secret rock band Youforia, can’t figure out who’s posting information about him and his ban
d online that only he should know. Someone seems to be pulling the strings of both teens’ lives . . . and they’re not too happy about it. With Youforia about to be exposed in a national magazine and Chapter 64 bearing down like a speeding freight train, time is running out. Will Idea and Reacher be able to join forces and take control of their own lives before it’s too late?

  School of Rock meets Alice in Wonderland in this fast-paced, completely unpredictable novel of alternate realities, time travel, and rock ‘n’ roll. If your favorite band does not exist . . . do you?

  "Overall, My Favorite Band Does Not Exist is a wacky and enjoyable trip...full of intriguing, imaginative concepts that keep a reader hooked." –Thom Dunn, The Daily Genoshan

  "This first novel has all the look of a cult fave: baffling to many, an anthem for a few, and unlike anything else out there." –Ian Chipman, Booklist Starred Review

  "Chaos theory meets rock 'n' roll in adult author Jeschonek's ambitious, reality-bending YA debut." "...this proudly surreal piece of metafiction could develop a cult following..."–Publishers Weekly

  "Reading this reminded me of authors like Terry Prachett and Neil Gaiman…" –BiblioJunkies

  Now Available from Graphia Books!

  Order now from your favorite bookseller.

  *****

  BLACKBEARD'S ALIENS

  Copyright © 2012 by Robert T. Jeschonek

  www.thefictioneer.com

  Cover Art Copyright © 2012 by Ben Baldwin

  www.benbaldwin.co.uk

  Published in May 2012 by Pie Press by arrangement with the author. All rights reserved by the author.

  This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents either are products of the author's imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events or locales or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.

  Design by Pie Press

  Johnstown, Pennsylvania