Tommy Puke and the World's Grossest Grown-Up Read online

Page 3


  It looks like a golden blob, as if a bar of pure gold had melted into a puddle, then hardened again. The puddle is lumpy, as if the molten gold had oozed over a cluster of pebbles. Either that...

  ...or it's exactly what he said it was. The object of the crazy and stomach-churning quest he's taken me on. The legendary prize that's supposed to change my life forever.

  Solid gold vomit.

  "You know what this means, don't you, Josh?" Tommy scratches his head, and dandruff flakes shower down from his unwashed rat's nest of hair. "We're close now! This is his lair!"

  I look around nervously. "Do you really think so?"

  "We're about to find him!" Tommy turns and grins. A bell clapper of glistening green goo hangs inside his left nostril. "We're going to meet the son of the god of vomit! We're about to throw down with the Boy Who Barfs Gold!"

  Suddenly, a strange voice booms from the darkness ahead. "Don't you mean throw up?"

  What happens next?

  Find out in Tommy Puke and the Boy With the Golden Barf,

  On sale now!

  *****

  Shopping for Puke!

  Put a little Puke into everything you do!

  Gross everyone out with awesome Tommy Puke swag!

  Order Tommy Puke T-shirts, mugs, and all kinds of cool stuff from the Tommy Puke Collection!

  Holidays and birthdays? Give the gift of puke!

  Visit the Pie Press Swag Store at Café Press!

  Just follow the link…and fill your life with Puke!

  http://www.cafepress.com/piepressswagstore/8052676

  *****

  Now on Sale from Robert T. Jeschonek

  A Young Adult Fantasy Novel That Really Rocks!

  One of Booklist's Top Ten First Novels for Youth

  Being trapped in a book can be a nightmare—just ask Idea Deity. He’s convinced that he exists only in the pages of a novel written by a malevolent author . . . and that he will die in Chapter 64. Meanwhile, Reacher Mirage, lead singer of the secret rock band Youforia, can’t figure out who’s posting information about him and his band online that only he should know. Someone seems to be pulling the strings of both teens’ lives . . . and they’re not too happy about it. With Youforia about to be exposed in a national magazine and Chapter 64 bearing down like a speeding freight train, time is running out. Will Idea and Reacher be able to join forces and take control of their own lives before it’s too late?

  School of Rock meets Alice in Wonderland in this fast-paced, completely unpredictable novel of alternate realities, time travel, and rock ‘n’ roll. If your favorite band does not exist . . . do you?

  "Overall, My Favorite Band Does Not Exist is a wacky and enjoyable trip...full of intriguing, imaginative concepts that keep a reader hooked." –Thom Dunn, The Daily Genoshan

  "This first novel has all the look of a cult fave: baffling to many, an anthem for a few, and unlike anything else out there." –Ian Chipman, Booklist Starred Review

  "Chaos theory meets rock 'n' roll in adult author Jeschonek's ambitious, reality-bending YA debut." "...this proudly surreal piece of metafiction could develop a cult following..."–Publishers Weekly

  "Reading this reminded me of authors like Terry Prachett and Neil Gaiman…" –BiblioJunkies

  Now Available from Clarion Books!

  *****

  About the Author

  Robert T. Jeschonek is an award-winning writer whose fiction, comics, and podcasts have been published around the world. He has written Star Trek and Doctor Who fiction, and DC Comics has published his comic book work. He won the nationwide Strange New Worlds contest for his Star Trek stories, and he was nominated for the British Fantasy Award for his story, "Fear of Rain." His young adult urban fantasy novel, My Favorite Band Does Not Exist, is now available from Clarion Books/Houghton Mifflin Harcourt and was named one of Booklist’s Top Ten First Novels for Youth. Visit him online at www.thefictioneer.com. You can also find him on Facebook and follow him as @TheFictioneer on Twitter.

  *****

  TOMMY PUKE AND THE WORLD'S GROSSEST GROWN-UP

  Copyright © 2012 by Robert T. Jeschonek

  www.thefictioneer.com

  Cover Art Copyright © 2012 by Ben Baldwin

  www.benbaldwin.co.uk

  Published in January 2012 by Pie Press by arrangement with the author. All rights reserved by the author.

  This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents either are products of the author's imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events or locales or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.

  Design by Pie Press

  Johnstown, Pennsylvania