Warning! Do Not Read This Story! Read online

  *****

  E-books by Robert T. Jeschonek

  Fantasy

  6 Fantasy Stories

  6 More Fantasy Stories

  Blazing Bodices

  Earthshaker, A Novel (Urban Fantasy)

  Girl Meets Mind Reader

  Groupie Everlasting

  Heaven Bent – a novel

  Rose Head

  Snowman's Chance in Hell

  The Bear in the Cable-Knit Sweater

  The Genie's Secret

  The Return of Alice

  The Sword That Spoke

  Erotica

  Kiss of the Acolyte

  Horror

  Bloodliner, A Novel

  Diary of a Maggot

  Dionysus Dying

  Fear of Rain

  Road Rage

  Humor (Adults Only)

  Dick by Law, A Novel

  Literary

  6 Short Stories

  Getting Higher – a novel

  Mystery and Crime

  6 Crime Stories

  Crimes in the Key of Murder

  Death by Polka, A Novel

  The First Detect-Eve

  The Foolproof Cure for Cancer

  The Other Waiter

  Who Unkilled Johnny Murder?

  Poetry

  Flight of Ideas

  Science Fiction

  6 Scifi Stories

  6 More Scifi Stories

  6 Scifi Stories Book 3

  Battlenaut Crucible, A Novel

  Beware the Black Battlenaut

  Day 9, A Novel

  Give The Hippo What He Wants

  Lenin of the Stars

  Messiah 2.0

  My Cannibal Lover

  Off The Face Of The Earth

  One Awake In All The World

  Playing Doctor

  Scifi Motherlode

  Serial Killer vs. E-Merica

  Something Borrowed, Something Doomed

  Star Sex

  Teacher of the Century

  The Greatest Serial Killer in the Universe

  The Love Quest of Smidgen the Snack Cake

  The Shrooms of Benares

  Universal Language, A Novella

  Superheroes

  6 Superhero Stories

  7 Comic Book Scripts

  7 More Comic Book Scripts

  4 More Comic Book Scripts

  A Matter of Size

  Forced Retirement (Forced Heroics Book 1)

  Forced Betrayal (Forced Heroics Book 2)

  Forced Partnership (Forced Heroics Book 3)

  Heroes of Global Warming

  The Masked Family, A Novel

  The Wife Who Never Was

  Thrillers

  Backtracker, A Novel

  The Trek It! Series

  Trek This!

  Trek Off!

  Trek Fail!

  Trek Script!

  Trek Script 2

  Trek Novel!

  Trek You!

  Trek It!

  Young Readers

  Dolphin Knight, A Novel

  Lump

  Tommy Puke and the Boy with the Golden Barf

  Tommy Puke and the World's Grossest Grown-Up

  *****

  Now on Sale from Robert T. Jeschonek

  A Young Adult Fantasy Novel That Really Rocks!

  One of Booklist's Top Ten First Novels for Youth

  Being trapped in a book can be a nightmare—just ask Idea Deity. He’s convinced that he exists only in the pages of a novel written by a malevolent author...and that he will die in Chapter 64. Meanwhile, Reacher Mirage, lead singer of the secret rock band Youforia, can’t figure out who’s posting information about him and his band online that only he should know. Someone seems to be pulling the strings of both teens’ lives...and they’re not too happy about it. With Youforia about to be exposed in a national magazine and Chapter 64 bearing down like a speeding freight train, time is running out. Will Idea and Reacher be able to join forces and take control of their own lives before it’s too late?

  School of Rock meets Alice in Wonderland in this fast-paced, completely unpredictable novel of alternate realities, time travel, and rock ‘n’ roll. If your favorite band does not exist . . . do you?

  "Overall, My Favorite Band Does Not Exist is a wacky and enjoyable trip...full of intriguing, imaginative concepts that keep a reader hooked." –Thom Dunn, The Daily Genoshan

  "This first novel has all the look of a cult fave: baffling to many, an anthem for a few, and unlike anything else out there." –Ian Chipman, Booklist Starred Review

  "Chaos theory meets rock 'n' roll in adult author Jeschonek's ambitious, reality-bending YA debut." "...this proudly surreal piece of metafiction could develop a cult following..."–Publishers Weekly

  "Reading this reminded me of authors like Terry Prachett and Neil Gaiman…" –BiblioJunkies

  Now available from Graphia Books and Houghton Mifflin Harcourt

  Order from your favorite bookseller today!

  *****

  WARNING! DO NOT READ THIS STORY!

  Copyright © 2013 by Robert T. Jeschonek

  www.thefictioneer.com

  Cover Art Copyright © 2013 by Ben Baldwin

  www.benbaldwin.co.uk

  Published in March 2013 by Pie Press by arrangement with the author. All rights reserved by the author.

  Originally appeared in Unfit for Eden: Postscripts 26/27, PS Publishing, 2012.

  This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents either are products of the author's imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events or locales or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.

  Design by Pie Press

  Johnstown, Pennsylvania